I tried

To write with every pretty lie
Disguising ugly truths behind
To smile and laugh through
Snaky fears
And trembling muscles in their tears
You think it’s easy to fake a frown
Without havin to turn it upside down
When times are getting faster now
They spill into your silent vows
And rake them into flakes and fouls
I tried so hard but it’s no use now
I’m back to where I was supposed to be
Before they cleansed me off my sins
I tried, I tried, I really TRIED
To keep it up with this stupid fight
With just me, myself and that pathetic I
There’s three of them
Who’s gonna thrive?
I tried, I tried and I really TRIED
To keep it blowing with scented joy
But once when the pen grabs hold of me
All I pour is misery
And misery and misery
Oh what a two-faced shit I can really be
And misery and misery
And broken dreams in hapless pits
I TRIED, I TRIED, I TRIED SO HARD
But strength and courage left me drowned
I’m dead, not dying, HEAR ME OUT!
Screaming help through grateful smiles

I tried.
I’m sorry.
But I’m going now.

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68 thoughts on “I tried

  1. Wow… It took me a while to fully take this in. I love that about pieces like this, it causes a reader not only to have a preliminary reaction but to also gain a take away feeling. Beautifully done and with great power and emphasis. Absolutely well done, again I have been out matched..

    – P.M

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I love your use of repetition to drive home the struggle. Though is the poem lamenting the inability to write positively? Or to stop a practice the has something thicker than ink flowing? Love this poem.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re absolutely right but maybe that’s how most humans are until we find a way to. Thank you so much for such a thoughtful analysis of this poem which I’ve written out of – like what you’ve just said – rage. This means a lot! Have a good day!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You put thought and consideration into your work and make yourself vulnerable to others. The least I could do was respond in kind.
        We need the sadness to define the joy in our lives and although there is suffering, we can learn from it. Clearly you are.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Well tbh, me too but I don’t really know how to address all of us so maybe poets will go well this time round? If writing makes you happy, just keep it up! And continue to inspire others with your passion. You’re gonna make it big

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Hmmm… conspiracy? Why haven’t I thought of that though? You’re so creative! Well said! People tend to ignore these little things in them and when life sours up, they choose to rant rather than REFLECT on their deeds. You’re welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. However heavy the rain,
    Or dangerous the terrain
    Never stop to look,
    For the snakes that loom
    Will start their heavy pursuit

    The rain flushes ur mind
    Keeps it from going dry
    Embrace ur foes and fly
    For ur wings will get u by
    Till u reach a haven, u will find

    The roots that search will never die
    Your soul that tries will never be blind

    Liked by 2 people

      1. The maze of grass-filled fields,
        Will beckon u once more
        Fret not, the haze will go
        You will breath and soar

        Liberation will commence,
        The battle till the river bed
        The will must never, ever end
        The lord always has a plan
        Believe me, you are a godsend

        Lament no more,
        For the shield of our divine father
        Fends the kind and the repressed
        Your days of agony will be spent

        Your adversaries may stand strong,
        But don’t Surrender to their wrongs
        The turtles brave through waves
        you will definitely survive this phase

        Have faith, your heart is strong
        Your journey a millennia long

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I’m totally speechless by your amazing poem! This more than beautiful! Absolutely. Thank you for such kindness! May the Lord always be with you dear love x You’ve just made my day and once again, thanks for that! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  4. This is a great poem. I have been struggling with my “two lives” lately. I am still hiding the truth of my pain and sadness. It very difficult to let it out when everyone in our lives wants to see us happy. Thank goodness for pen and paper!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank goodness I’ve once again found someone who can relate so well to this! I totally feel like I am going through the same struggles as you and I am very humbled by your compliment. Thank you so much. Keep writing if it makes you feel better and stay strong!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’m not a poet, but my last post was in the same theme. The real me is only visible to someone who continues through my defensive layers and fake happiness. You are the only person so far to go to their end and like it. Most people won’t.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. “But once when the pen grabs hold of me
    All I pour is misery
    And misery and misery”…

    In one of Rammstein’s songs they wrote “Your happiness is not my happiness: it is my misery” …

    you wrote well, but to write what you did, you might have had to go through untold amounts of suffering..which had been hidden away from the world…

    so for us (readers) to appreciate this writing, you had to first experience negative emotions so you could find it in you to write this…

    I wish you all the best, and hope that you can reconcile the side of you that you reveal to the world and the one that is cast aside for most of the day.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Omg, there’s a song like that? Will check it out and thanks for sharing it to me! And thank you for also being able to understand the situation I was dealing as I wrote this down! Well, thanks for the well wishes and the kindness too. I hope so, though I don’t have that much high hopes for myself. But I will still try and your appreciation of my works has just motivated me to keep on trying. Thank you

      Liked by 2 people

  6. This was one of my favourite poems. Infact upon reading this I was like damn girl this amazing girl can writer, so you better follow her to keep up. It is coated in raw emotions and the repetition pulls at my heart. It is so well written I can get into the persona. I can’t express just how much you poem connects to the readers, and yes pen and paper is the only solution sometimes. Just know you are beautiful inside and out, speechless and talkative, and many readers like myself will always have your back virtually xo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Omg, thank you so much for the faith and support you have in me! You’re a sweetheart, do you know that? Stop being so kind or I might just break down right now. Your concerns and kindness are too overwhelming in a GOOD way and I don’t know how exactly to fully express my gratitude for you! Please stay strong as well and thank you!!!!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. If it’s a breakdown of happiness I’m all for it but you say I’m kind, I say I’m just telling you the truth. You’re so amazing. I would love to talk to you more hopefully through oncoming poems etc

        Liked by 2 people

  7. Maybe it’s just me…but I think we all try, try, try. It’s good to laugh with friends and family…to give them our best. But it’s also good to pour out the inner struggles and give pen to paper our best. That’s not two-faced I don’t think…it’s strength and beauty…giving our best to both of our worlds. Beautiful words poured out from a strong heart. Awesome! ❀

    Liked by 2 people

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