One year later


Incomplete – Backstreet Boys

Exactly a year ago
When fate tied us together
You were a desperate dreamer
Don’t you remember
I was a lost traveller
Seeking for a haven
You said

‘You can have mine, we can be together.’

So I held on to whatever
Snowflakes you could gather
When winter became shorter
For you’re so bright like summer

Tales engraved
Like dead butterflies’ resurrection
In kisses and scented touches
We found life in each other
And for the first time ever
I think I felt pleasure

However, to my demise
Life is never nice

Twenty weeks later
On a frigid line of emptiness
You called me careless
And you left me broken

I was at sea
Amidst your capricious weather
Deranged and frightened
By your sudden malevolence

“You’re too big for my tiny haven
And I have enough of your suffocation
Why can’t you let me out of your vice
They have rusted over time.”

But I just couldn’t and I don’t know why

Then one day
After thirty days of never
You found another
Who could fit into your haven

Like a missing piece of a Jigsaw Puzzle

She’s the reason why
It became summer
And I was the reason why
It turned into winter

Just so much for all the
I’ll never leave you forever
In the first place
You should not have ever
Taken me into your arms
And taught me how to love
You were a desperate riddle
In a state of drunkenness
How could I solve you
When I was no different

Should have known better
Than to reciprocate
Your actions, your words
They were just a manipulated play

For you were trapped in surrealism
When you saw me walking pass it
Till you fell into your pathetic excuses
And woke up from your dreams

There is a bottle of water
Placed next to my beating heart
Snowflakes condensed and dead
Those you’d collected
On that Christmas Day

You knew it would eventually lose its beauty
Yet you still pocket it like money

‘This is for you
Your first Christmas gift from me.
I can’t afford diamonds and gemstones yet my dear baby.
But I hope you know how much love there is.
Next year’s gonna be a better gift,’

You promised.

‘Just don’t ever dare to leave me.’

And I nodded yes in gullibility
Little did I realise
It was a reminder of me
I was a freedom
Kidnapped by your trance
Gone was the beauty
And in came the sad

I never left you
You took the first move
Dismantled my key
And threw it to the moon
So I’ll be locked out forever
And leave you alone
Said you’ll be better
Without my hold

Bruised like a stained black
Wrecked like your promises
Here I am now
Exactly one year later
When autumn leaves start to fall
When the sun starts to shine no more
When flowers lose their lustre
When it’s no longer me
In yours

One year later
From one year ago
Like a succeeded folly
I’ve never gone

Sounds superficial but I’m not even exaggerating
How can you squash yet delight me
At the same gleam?

Though I was just a mere girl
You had loved in your dreams
You’re my Prince
I can’t stop loving

Remember those feelings you had left behind?
They etched in my heart and grew thicker than limes
Stubborn or obstinate
They don’t want to leave
No matter how much I’d tried to breathe

Call me a fool

At least you bothered to

Dedicated to one of my besties, Jia
I love you as much as you love him, okay? XOXO


10 thoughts on “One year later

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